The past few weeks have been a real struggle for me.  My husband and I have been dealing with infertility issues caused by my PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome), for almost as long as we’ve been married (we just celebrated our 10th anniversary last July). 

In 2003 I was diagnosed with PCOS, although it was obvious that I didn’t develop it in 2003, I’d had it for many years.  We had been trying to conceive for quite a while, and by the end of 2002 had started to realize there was probably going to be an issue.  Fortunately, I had really good insurance, insurance that actually covered some infertility treatments.  I was able to see an infertility doctor, and with his help, we conceived our son in October of 2003, using a combination of Ovarian stimulation (using drugs to get the ovaries to produce an egg), and IUI (intra-utertine insemination).  It was a hard journey getting to that point, and I was pretty close to falling apart by the time we found out that I was pregnant.  It was a difficult pregnancy, but in the end, our beautiful boy was born.

We decided we did not want our children too close together, and that we would wait until Nick was 3 before we really started actively pursing getting pregnant again.  However I have to admit that we did keep a bit of an eye on my cycles, and do what we could hoping for a natural "surprise" pregnancy.  It didn’t happen.  Then we decided to move to Idaho, and we didn’t want me to be pregnant, so we decided to wait until after the move.  We didn’t really think this through as well as we should have though, because there were 2 problems with that.  First off, my fabulous insurance was expiring around the time we moved, and it is impossible to get infertility coverage when you are self-employed unless you own a big business.  Second, there are no infertility doctors in our area.

We tried and tried.  I’ve spoken with doctors, they put me on Metformin, which is a drug to help regulate insulin resistance.  It makes me sick, VERY sick.  They tell you it will make you sick for a little while, but then your body will adjust.  Mine never did.  So after months of agonizing yuckiness, I finally gave up on that.

I truly feel that God has another baby for us.  I feel that with every fiber of my body, and I’m not willing to give that up.  Nor am I willing to force my son into a life as an only child.

We’ve considered adoption, and aren’t opposed to it, but I’ve never felt like it’s the way God is directing me to go. 

So for years, the biggest thing standing between us and a baby has been money.  We need money for infertility treatments, and money to travel back and forth the 4 hrs that we need to go to get to the closest infertility doctor.

In 2010 we tried at Christmas time, but I ovulated on my own before the IUI, and we didn’t get pregnant (even with a perfect cycle the chances are only about 1 in 3 that we’ll get pregnant.

After the failed try, I decided to start looking into some natural treatments.  I found Dr. Mellor in Rexburg, and he felt that he could probably help us.  He has been working with me to get my health back in order.  I’ve been able to get my thyroid working properly, have gotten my blood sugar under control, lost a bit of weight (not nearly enough, but some), and I’m much healthier than I was before I started seeing him.  We even managed to get pregnant in June, but I miscarried before we even knew I was pregnant (not knowing was a blessing).  That sent me for a tailspin, but I tried to get back on track.

Now it’s been a year since I started working heavily with Dr. Mellor, and I’m still not pregnant.  The new year reminded me of the fact that we’ve crossed yet another year without a baby. 

I’m NOT giving up.  I’m not losing faith, this baby will come into the world.

Sometimes though, that faith just slips away when I’m not looking, and I find myself falling apart again.  That’s what happened earlier this month.  It took several days and a lot of tears, but things are headed back on track now.  My faith is restored and our plan has been generated for the new year.  The plan is:

Start Acupuncture – I have my first appointment next week.  Acupuncture has been shown to be very useful in treating infertility.  It also improves the likelihood of infertility treatments.

Do an infertility treatment – this one is pending on us either being able to raise enough money or not being hit too hard with taxes this year. 

In the meantime, I’ll be working on acupuncture, nutrition, weight loss, and trying to find some fundraising ideas that will help us meet our goals.  Plus praying, praying a lot.  Praying, and praying, and believing, and knowing that it will happen, hopefully sooner than later.  So if you pray, please pray with me, pray that we’ll get pregnant quickly and not have to go do the infertility treatments, or that if we do have to do the infertility treatments that the funds will be there for it.

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