I was talking with Tracy from Wet Oatmeal Kisses earlier today.  She was talking a bit about accepting things, it got me thinking.  How do I really know when I’ve truly accepted something? 

I’ve been through some rough times in my life.  I try to accept what life throws at me, find the good in it, learn what I can, and continue down life’s path.  I’m pretty good at accepting the tough spots and turning my worries over to God.  Most of the time.

There’s one thing that no matter how hard I have tried, I have not been able to accept.  Infertility.  Oh, I’ve tried, I’ve tried really, really hard.  I’m not saying I’m in denial, I accept that we struggle with infertility, that my body doesn’t work right, and because of that conceiving babies is very, very hard, and very expensive for us.  I know that, I’ve accepted that.  I’ve learned from it.  I’ve found many things positive that have come from our infertility journey.  For instance, I truly believe, in retrospect, that my son would not have done well had we had another child when we first started trying.  I’ve also really enjoyed the special time the three of us have together, just us.  The struggle has drawn me closer to a lot of people, helped me learn to depend on other’s more emotionally.  It’s been hard, but there have definitely been good things that have come from it.  Yet, I can honestly say, I’ve not accepted it.  How do I know… peace.  You know that peaceful feeling that you know that it’s okay.  The feeling that you can turn it over to God and just follow His lead and let Him handle the problem.   Yeah, that peace…. I’ve never gotten there.  Instead I’m always looking for the next solution.  I’m always praying for help, trying to give it to God, trying to let Him handle it, yet I spend so much time trying to find the solution rushing here and there, trying to figure out the magic cure.  I’ve known we’re supposed to have more children, but I haven’t been able to come to peace and realize that I need to follow God’s lead on it and stop trying to solve the problem myself.  I’ve had no peace.

Compare that with times when I have fully accepted things.  For instance, a few years ago, we were going through a really tough time financially.  Erik had just started his business, and we were really struggling to make ends meet.  Often we weren’t even sure how or if we would get all of our bills paid.  After stressing out for a while, I finally realized that we would just have to accept that this was where  we were at that time.  I turned the worries over to God, relaxed, stopped worrying, and instead looked for God’s lead on what we should do to help our situation.  I felt totally at peace with the situation and knew God would handle it, even though I didn’t know how.  That doesn’t mean I just sat on my hands and didn’t try to figure our any ways to improve our finances.  It was different though, less crazy run around must solve this, and more we’ll find the answer, God will show us what we need to do.  Definitely, much more peace.

So how do you get from accepting things in your head to accepting them in your heart?  How do you find that peace that comes with true acceptance?  I don’t know.   It definitely starts with faith and ends with turning it over to God, and not taking it back.. but how to sustain that, when it’s something you are faced with constantly? I just don’t know.   Do you?

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If you’ve got a child who loves basketball, you are going to LOVE this!  Nick is not much of a basketball player, or we’d be all over it I’m sure.  After all, what child basketball enthusiast wouldn’t love to learn right from the Harlem Globetrotter stars?  It sounds like lots of fun, be sure to check it out!

For the first time, the Harlem Globetrotters are conducting summer skills clinics to bring boys and girls ages 6-14 behind the curtain to see the Globetrotters’ electrifying skills and tricks, while also having fun staying active.

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Disclaimer: This is a compensated post.   I am being compensated in exchange for this post with free tickets to a Harlem Globetrotters game, and we’re so excited to get to go!

This is really more for me so that I remember this little journey we’ve taken with  the machine… but in case anyone is following our attempt for the new machine:

About a month ago I wrote about our decision to purchase a new machine for my husband’s business.  It sounded like a simple, albeit hair raising adventure to get the loan for the machine and get everything taken care of.  Well were we ever wrong!  Things are looking like they are really on track, but it’s been seriously crazy!  Here’s what we’ve been through with trying to get this all situated.

• Went into our credit union to talk to them about the loan.  Got a sitter, planned to be there up to a few hours… found out that the person who we needed to talk to wasn’t in, and left with his business card so we could call him back.  Took about 5 minutes
• Called the correct person at the credit union, found out they don’t do the loans we need.  Got the name of a bank that does.
• Called that bank, verified that they do the loan type we need. 
• Erik visited the bank and spent hours talking to the loan guy.  Came back with a list of things we need, the most concerning being business insurance.  Last time we tried to get business insurance our agent gave us an outrageous price, about half of what we make in a year.
• Called 3 insurance agents.  Never heard back from them.
• Called another insurance agent, set up an appointment.  He didn’t show.
• Called him again, he had had an emergency, would be back in a few days.  Figured that explained everything.
• Called again, no answer, no calls back, no insurance.
• Loan guy called to say the loan was approved by the bank and just needed to go through a secondary approval process.  Found out we don’t need business insurance, we just need life insurance on my husband that will cover the debt if something happens to him.  Loan guy will call next business day to come sign paperwork.  Decide to wait on trying to get the insurance until after loan is done.
• Called machine company, machine that was going to take 5 weeks is now going to take 7, but we can order 3 weeks ahead of time and have 3 weeks to cancel, if loan is not through in that time, will cancel automatically.  Do we order machine now, since loan will hopefully be done around then, or do we wait a week or so and try to minimize chances of everything not working out.
• Called our life insurance guy  to figure out how to go about that, everything looking great.
• Loan guy finally calls back several days later to arrange to sign paperwork.  Have we arranged for the life insurance and business insurance?  WHAT???  You said we didn’t need business insurance.  panic , panic, panic.  Start calling insurance companies again.  Finally reach someone.  They can give us insurance at a reasonable price.
• Now:  waiting to sign paperwork, waiting to get formal insurance quote, waiting to order machine until we know when the final loan will go through.

And that’s just his business stuff!!  We have so many changes and options available to us right now it is amazing.  Our lives are going through a massive shift, but all of it is up in the air right now.  Within a month it is quite possible that many things about our life could be substantially different.  Now… if we could just get pregnant, this might have to go down as one of the best months ever.

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This is a very personal post and when I changed the blog over, I wasn’t entirely sure that I wanted to keep it up, so I took it down for a while.  I have come to the conclusion that I really do want to include it on the new site.  I hope it will be of help to someone who is struggling with these questions.  It’s okay to hurt, and you might wonder where God is, but He is there, even when you can’t see Him.

Where Was God? A Personal Story

Sometimes, life is a bit harder than we are prepared for… sometimes a lot harder.  It is easy during our moments of pain to get really angry at God, and wonder where He was when we were suffering.

Years ago, when I was in the depths of my pain, trying to deal with having been sexually abused as a child, I reached that point. 

My mind and heart were breaking with the pain of the memories.  I was trying to deal with one of the worst, and most intense memories I had.  Everytime I closed my eyes, I had flashbacks of the experience.  When people touched me, memories would come rushing back.  Confusion was ruling over me, and despite being determined to overcome it all, I felt like I was becoming lost in a swamp.  Then it happened.

Those little thoughts implanted in my head.  So, if God is so good, where was He when I was abused?  How could He have let a little child deal with all of this.  I was trying to deal with all of the crap floating around in my head, but I’d lost faith in my biggest comforter.  I’d decided that God had abandoned me when I was a child.  On top of all of the despair, I was so angry.  Angry that I’d been mistreated.  Angry that God was not there.

In anger I went to God.  People will tell you that you should never tell God you are angry with Him.  Pish posh I say!  God already knows you are angry with Him, you might as well tell Him right?

So I went to God and told Him how angry I was with Him.  I asked Him how He could have left me alone.  Where was He when all of this was going on.  I didn’t really expect an answer.  Even though I have heard the voice of God many times, I was certain that He would not answer at that moment.  Certain that He would be angry with me for being angry at Him.  Certain, in all of my pain, that He really didn’t care anyways.

I was wrong.

He did answer me.

This time, the memory started just like usual, but then suddenly, I noticed something I’d never noticed before.  I saw Christ right beside me.  His arm around me, He was comforting me, as a child, through the entire experience.  He was telling me that I would be okay.  That what I was being told was not true, and that I would be just fine.  He was comforting me, giving me strength, hope, and love.  He was holding me together.  As we sat there, I noticed tears running down His face.  I felt His sadness at what was happening.

At that moment, I understood as clearly as I have understood anything in my life.  I understood where God had been through all of the abuse.  He’d been right there with me.  He’d never left me.  He’d mourned for what was happening to me, even when I couldn’t.  He’d protected my heart and mind, so that I could live, heal, and not become like my abusers.  He’d kept me alive.

Where was God?  He was right there.  Always, right there.  If you doubt it, ask Him.  Ask Him to show you where He was. 

Acupuncture is becoming more and more popular in the US as more and more of become aware of how effective it is.  However, there is a huge difference in the amount of training and expertise amongst acupuncturists.  Do you know how to figure out whether an acupuncturist is one you should work with?

Before I started getting acupuncture treatments at the beginning of the year, I spent months doing research and figuring out how to find the right person.  Acupuncture done wrong can be as damaging, or even more damaging than acupuncture done right can be helpful.  I didn’t realize how dangerous it could be at the time, but I knew I needed someone with a high skill level to help with our infertility issues. 

After I started with my acupuncturist (who is wonderful and very well trained), I was having a discussion with her and she told me several things that I found really disturbing.  First, most people don’t even ask her if she is licensed or what type of training she has had.  Most people don’t recognize that there is a huge difference in the amount of training required of a licensed acupuncturist versus another licensed professional who does acupuncture.  She also told me stories about how in England they finally had to outlaw the practice of acupuncture done by anyone who has not had the full acupuncture training.  They did this because they were finding that when doctors who only had a minimal amount of acupuncture training were doing the treatments injuries were occurring.  Not jut minor injuries either.  Big time injuries, things like collapsed lungs!  The US has not made this restriction yet, so when you choose to go to someone who offers acupuncture, you better make sure that you know what you are getting.

So how do you make sure you are getting a well trained acupuncturist?

1. Ask about their training and how many hours of training they have had.  A true, licensed acupuncturist is required to have more than 3000 hours of training.  A chiropractor, medical doctor, or naturopath who gets trained to do acupuncture only needs 300 hrs.  Yes, some of the time of the 3000 hrs is spent on anatomy, which those doctors already know, but I guarantee they are not spending 2700 hours on anatomy.  I don’t know about you, but I’d much rather work with someone with the 3000 hours of training, including practical, observed treatment of patients, than someone who took a course on the side.  This is even more important if you are being treated for something major, like infertility, that has multiple things that could be wrong.
2. Look them up on the NCCAOM website  (National Certification Commission for Acupuncture and Oriental Medicine).  This is the national licensing board for the US, and ensures that you have an acupuncturist who has been properly trained (see #1), is in good standing in the acupuncture community, and is continuing their education with regular training.  This is a great place to start if you don’t know of anyone in your area, as they do have a database where you can look up acupuncturists by area.  Not everyone who is licensed is in the "find a practitioner" database, but it’s a good place to start.
3. Make sure your acupuncturist is licensed in the state they practice.  This will also ensure they are in good standing in the community and in most states ensures that they are keeping up on their training.

Don’t be afraid to use acupuncture, it’s a fabulous treatment, and can be life changing.  In fact the last time I was in the doctor’s office, a woman came out who had just been treated for the first time.  She said she felt like dancing across the floor because she hadn’t felt that good in so long.  The acupuncturist found places in her body that she had pain and hadn’t even recognized it, but when it was gone, she sure could feel the difference.  Acupuncture is fabulous, just make sure you find a licensed acupuncturist to perform it.

I’m excited to have the opportunity to participate in this super fabulous, fun giveaway!  Enter now, and then leave us a comment to tell us you did

Win It For MomiPad2 Mothers DayGiveaway Event

Welcome to our annual Mothers Day Giveaway!  This year, 1 VERY LUCKY mom will WIN an iPad2!

Think your mom is the greatest mom ever? Want to give her a shiny new iPad2?Think YOU’RE the greatest mom ever? Keep it for yourself!

Here’s What You Get!

Color: White

Storage:16 GB

Wi-Fi: Stay Connected at any of thousands of internet hotspots, including your home wireless network. Get online from the couch, check email at school, download an app at the library or read the local news at your favorite cafe. iPad with Wi-Fi makes it easy to stay connected.

Bluetooth 2.1 + EDR technology

Height: 9.50 inches (241.2 mm)     Width: 7.31 inches (185.7 mm)      Weight: 1.33 pounds (601 g)

Display: 9.7-inch (diagonal) LED-backlit glossy widescreen Multi-Touch display with IPS technology. 1024-by-768-pixel resolution. Fingerprint-resistant oleophobic coating.

Cameras, Photos, and Video Recording: Back camera: Video recording, HD (720p) up to 30 frames per second with audio; still camera with 5x digital zoom. Front camera: Video recording, VGA up to 30 frames per second with audio; VGA-quality still camera. Tap to control exposure for video or stills. Photo and video geotagging over Wi-Fi.

Power and Battery: Built-in 25-watt-hour rechargeable lithium-polymer battery. Up to 10 hours of surfing the web on Wi-Fi, watching video, or listening to music. Charging via power adapter or USB to computer system.

In The Box: Dock Connector to USB Cable. 10W USB Power Adapter. All Documentation.

Warranty: Every iPad comes with complimentary telephone technical support for 90 days from your iPad purchase date and a one-year limited warranty.iPad2 will be ordered AFTER winner is drawn. It will ship DIRECTLY to the winner. We NEVER touch it! Warranty will be put in winners name at time of purchase.

Contest Info:  US only.  Contest will run from 12:01 Eastern Time on 4/29 to  12:01 am on 5/14

Grandma Juice and The Kids Are Grown Now What have teamed up with a great group of bloggers to bring you this awesome iPad2 for Mothers Day.

There are multiple ways to win! Do some, Do them all….. It’s up to you!Some you can even do daily for added bonus entries! There’s something for everyone!

Ready? Go! Good luck!

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Please note: A Divine Walk is helping to promote the giveaway.  We are not hosting or running this giveaway.  As such, we are not responsible for choosing or delivering the giveaway prize.